Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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