Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
