forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
