similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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