Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
