Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she looked like the before picture.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm always down for nudity.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
