dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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