Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
