It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
