What a fucking waste of an outfit
im about as happy as oj after his trial
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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