there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
