used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Randomize
