I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
