'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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