WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
