No awkward lesbian experiences without me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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