Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
