Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
