Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
