Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
