You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
