it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
