Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
