Well apparently he's into motor boating.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
