Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
