I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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