I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
they need to just BURY HIM!
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
