Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
