i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
