i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
cat food counts as protein by the way
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
