Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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