my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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