How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
