I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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