Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
