Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
