She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
