ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She needs sedatives and a leash
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The adults are the big ones right?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
