i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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