I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Vodka?
Forever.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
