ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
