WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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