1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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