your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
