Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
