We should be called the Road Head Warriors
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
