can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
