Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
