i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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