They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
