I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
