I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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