Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
this is an emotional support booty call
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
