If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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